Watch Out for Hot Stones

I don't mind admitting that I am a bit of a tart for spa treatments and massages. I have long since learnt to appreciate the 'holistic' benefits of a good oily rub down from my early days in Kuala Lumpur, before the words 'male grooming' or 'metro sexual' were ever mentioned in one sentence, and long before David Beckham had ever ventured to Chiva Som.

The establishment where I succumbed to my first massage was rather appropriately named 'The Spa', located on the 7/F, of Menara Lion on Jalan Ampang, KL. The place featured an assortment of hot pools, cold pools, saunas and steam facilities, from where you would venture through into a large relaxation area showing TV and films, where you could crash out until you ready to go for your massage. The place was way ahead of its time, completely above board, and was the perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon, ridding your system of the toxins which you had drank the night before.

Since then, I have been more than happy to spend a couple of hours being 'kneaded' into a state of total relaxation, particularly if it gets Darling away from the shops. On our trip to Bangkok we made reservations at a rather plush facility, booking a 2 hour slot in the afternoon. From the menu I decided to opt for a body scrub, followed by a hot stone massage which sounded intriguing, whereas Darling opted for a 2 hour aromatherapy massage. We then went our separate ways for our respective 'treatments'.

Mine started off with an exfoliation (rub down with emery/ sand paper - not sure which), followed by an apricot scrub (did I mention tart earlier?). After a quick shower I was ready for the main event. My therapist (no, we do not say masseuse) laid out hot volcanic stones onto the bed, placed a towel over the top, then invited me to lay down on my back. After enquiring whether I was comfortable (which I was), the massage started. After about 5 to 10 minutes I became quite aware that indeed the stones were in fact hot. After another 5 minutes or so, I was aware of a burning sensation, but chose to ignore it (not wanting to appear soft)thinking that this was all part of the treatment. I did try to manoeuvre myself on the pile of stones to alleviate some of the discomfort, however this did not really help. For some reason whilst I lay there I kept recalling an early episode of Prison Break, (where Schofield presses back accidentally against a hot pipe, to avoid being caught by a guard), and after a while drift off to sleep.

It is soon time to turn over, the stones are cleared away, and I fall asleep several times whilst the knots in my back are worked on.

Back at the hotel, Darling asks if I have burnt my back. I tell her that I had not been out in the sun long enough to get burnt today, even for me. It is at this point, with the aid of a couple of mirrors, that I notice the burn mark on my back, as evidenced in the captioned photo.

Although a touch painful, it did not stop me going back to the Spa the next day, although I decided to give the hot stones a miss this time.

2 Nights in Bangkok

Just back from a short weekend trip to Bangkok for some well earned rest, although now I am back I am probably more tired than before I went away! After an overnight stint at work on Thursday, I left the office Friday lunch time to go home and freshen up, before catching the evening flight to Bangkok. I was a touch jaded it could be said at this point, however after a couple of pre-flight beers and a glass of wine (or was it three?) with my meal, I was back on my normal form.

I am not a big fan of Suvarnabhumi Airport, (Don Muang was far better in my opinion), particularly as it now takes 3 times longer to clear immigration and a further 15 minutes to reach the city centre. This latter point is something that the 'limousine' companies have cottoned on to, providing them with the excuse to hike the fares into town. Upon enquiring as to the cost for a car to The Peninsula I was quoted a 'special' price of 2300 Baht. This price was indeed 'special' as the fare is normally around 700 Baht! I politely told them that they were being ridiculous and that we would take a cab instead, and headed off to the taxi rank ignoring their shouts of 'OK Sir - I will give you discount!'.

We arrived at The Peninsula quite late, paid our taxi driver the 300 Baht fare (+100 Baht tip), and checked in. As the bar was closed we headed up and crashed out for the night.

The next day consisted of a full morning and good part of the afternoon in the delightful shoppers paradise of Siam Paragon, where Darling was in her element. Every counter of the cosmetics section was thoroughly inspected, as was most of the first floor ladies wear department. Darling was clearly making up for my recent shopping exploits, and was certainly making the most of it. Anticipating that we would not be leaving any time soon, I found a comfy swivel chair in the middle of the ladies lingerie section and sat down to watch re-run upon re-run of the Triumph underwear commercial, not that I minded.

Lunch in the downstairs food hall was a lively affair. Having had a good try of most of the free samples on offer (no idea what most of them were), I settled on a 'Chiang Mai Sausage' with heaps of a green algae like substance, which turned out to be an extraordinarily hot chili sauce. The food was excellent, however I could have done without downing all of the remaining chili mix in one go (not big, not clever), which left me in tears and in desperate need of a lemongrass sorbet.

Shopping concluded with the purchase of 'fresh' durian which I had apparently promised my wife that I would try. For those of you that have never come across durian, it is a big prickly fruit, about the size of a basketball, with an awful pungent smell and sticky yellowish flesh that some consider a delicacy (for more info - look it up on Wikipedia!). Having successfully avoided the fruit for 10 years of living in the Far East I am not sure why I had promised to try this now, however Darling was insistent. So the durian was smuggled back to the hotel. I say smuggled as the 'forbidden fruit' is not allowed on the premises of most hotels in South East Asia.


We then headed out for some serious relaxation at a rather plush spa (more on that in a separate post), after which it was time to head back, shower, change and get ready to venture out for the evening. Having nearly made it out of the hotel room, Darling recalled that there was durian to be eaten. Without too much fuss I actually managed to eat quite a bit (in my opinion), with only a can of Singha for assistance. To be honest, it was OK, and if offerred it again in the future, I am sure I could manage a piece or two, (although don't tell darling that).

We had a good evening, marred only by the injustice of some inept refereeing for a certain football match being undertaken in the UK, for which we managed to catch the second half on a rather poor quality screen, in an open air beer garden in the middle of Bangkok. Enough on that!

On Sunday after a late breakfast and an hour by the pool, we maneged to fit in one more spa session before, alas, it was time to head back to Hong Kong and the normal ensuing chaos. Still, all in all, a very good weekend and thankfully only another 5 weeks to go before we are back there again!

Post blog note - if you ever find yourself at Suvarnabhumi Airport in need of transportation, head up two flights of escalators from Arrivals to the Departures level and go outside to one of the many taxis waiting there. Do not follow the hoards heading to the taxi rank at arrivals - you will have a long wait, along with everyone else.

Better Late than Never

Well, despite the incompetancies of the Fortress sales staff, my new flat screen TV was finally delivered and set up on Saturday evening. I say my TV, incidentally, as Darling insists it is mine, not 'ours', as I was the one that decided we needed a new television and went off an bought it. After taking the afternoon off work to be home in time for the scheduled delivery, I received an apologetic call from Jack at Fortress, advising that there had been some mix up and that it would not be possible to deliver the TV on Saturday, as all of the delivery vans were now out making their rounds having left the wharehouse, minus my TV. Jack then advised that it would definitely be coming on Monday.

"How could this happen"? I casually asked, "after I specifically asked you on Thursday to confirm that everything was set for delivery today". There was a moment's pause whilst Jack squirmed, I imagine, desperately thinking how to aportion blame elsewhere, before finally admitting that he had given the warehouse the wrong delivery date.

Now, I did not loose my temper at this point (I know, most unlike me). Instead, I told them that they would be delivering the TV today, as promised, and advsied that I would be grateful if they could kindly confirm what time it would arrive.

So, having gone home early from work and with with a couple of hours to kill, we decided to settle down and watch 'Borat' on DVD. Now, I will not be giving any of the 'story' away here, however I will advise that I was very glad that we had infact ended up watching this film on our old, 'small' television as a certain segment of the movie is probably not best viewed on a 37" flat screen TV where the picture is magnified approximately by 2 to 3 times of that of a standard TV! That is all I will say on the matter - if you have seen the film, you can probably guess the section I am referring to.

A few hours later, the TV finally arrives and is set up by two very helpful assistants from Fortress. Jack had called me earlier to say that he was sorry that he would not be able to come round himself and set up the TV (I can't imagine why!).

Once set up, it is blatantly obvious that the TV is ridiculously oversized for our apartment, so much so that it is even slightly painful to watch the television from the settee. It is, however tremendous when viewed from my computer desk or from the bathroom. Darling, to her credit, has not muttered 'see' or 'there, that's what happens when you go buying things without me..' even once, whereas if I had been in her position, I would not have been able to resist.

Still, I have persevered, managing to sit through King Kong (appalling) on Saturday night, and, more enjoyably, on Sunday watching Man Utd being presented with the Premiership trophy (Graham & Niki - you did not seriously think that I would let that go without a mention here did you?). So all in all, everything is finally in place where it should be, even if things were touch an go for a while. I now find that I can cope with the headaches and painful eyes, but still have not fathomed out whether my new found 'sun tan' is from Dragon Boat practice or the glare from the TV!

Extract from Ming Pao and Oriental Daily Papers - 8 May 2007

Well, just in case anyone had missed the first posting in the local press, a double page spread was included in yesterday's papers, as featured below.

Why You shouldn't send Men Shopping

It should be of no great surprise to anyone that men do not actually like shopping (purchasing CD's, DVD's or books does not count - that is just adding to our collection) and ladies, if you do insist on sending your bloke along to the shops beware of the potential consequences, as my wife found out on Saturday.

After a lovely lunch, Darling suggested that I buy the week's groceries on the way home whilst she went off to the salon to get her nails done (of course I agreed). Well, I did not fancy going to the expensive supermarket in the shopping centre where we had eaten as I did not want to lug the goods all the way back, so I decided to visit my local store, which is a lot closer to home. As I walked back to Wan Chai and arrived at the store, I thought that I would have just a quick look in Fortress (electrical goods shop), which you need to walk through to get to the supermarket (well, technically there is another entrance to the supermarket but I never use it). Now, I did actually need a new DVD player as my old one is not so new anymore (bloke's logic). So I decided to purchase a DVD/HDD/ High Definition player and recorder, on which they offered me discount. Pleased with this I thought I would enquire whether I would get any more discount if I bought a flat screen LCD TV. I was pleased to learn that not only would I get the same level of discount, they would also throw in a Samsung 7.2 Mega Pixel camera.

Of course, I was sold, the only question was what size of TV would be suitable. Now as I have a small apartment, the salesman suggested a 32" model. So, in a moment of wisdom, I decided to purchase the 37" model - just in case we move apartments at a later date. I booked the delivery/ installation for Tuesday 8th May, and set off home with the DVD/HDD player. By now it had got quite late so I headed off quickly to the gym for a couple of hours.

When I returned home, I find Darling stood in the kitchen looking in the fridge. She politely asks "where's the food for the week?" and then asks "what is in the box in the living room?". I advise that I have finally got us a new DVD player as the old one was playing up. I then casually mention that I had also treated us to a new flat screen TV - as we both deserved something nice. I could tell that she was not overly convinced by the "treat for us" line, so I blurted out that I had also bought her a new digital camera - but that she would need to wait a couple of days until I could collect it from the nice people at Samsung. Darling was still not overly impressed, "I am not keen on taking pictures" - or something like that, she advised. (I make a mental note at this point to tell her that the camera is actually a free gift, just pick a good moment to tell her).

Well the weekend passed, we ate out, (funnily enough) and Tuesday came. The man from Fortress arrived with the TV, ready for installation. As he opened the box he suddenly looked confused and pulled out his phone. It transpires that they had sent an old model, 5000 resolution instead of 8000 apparently, not that I would have ever noticed. I asked if he was sure I had purchased the correct model and advised that I had as mine is the one that comes with the free camera! Damn! Darling of course catches all of this (funny how she often misses what I say but manages to catch this one small piece of information), then insists that she does not want the camera anyway. So there we are, the TV will now come on Saturday and I will be off shopping (again) over the next couple of days, this time in search of something nice for my wife.

So there you go, if you insist on sending your bloke off shopping, beware as it can get expensive, you may go hungry and end up with something that you were not after in the first place. Just don't say you have not been warned!

May Day, May Day!

I must say that I prefer the system of having a public holiday on the date that it is intended, such as how things are in Hong Kong, rather than the British way of shifting your day off to the nearest Monday. This way your working week can be broken up rather nicely, as it was this week, with May Day falling on Tuesday. This allowed us to have a couple of extra beers after squash (I know, it defeats the purpose), without having to worry about going into work the next day. I awoke on Tuesday morning to find that Dim Sum with the inlaws had been cancelled :-) and went promptly back off to sleep again for another couple of hours - bliss.

The day was fairly uneventful all in all, with very well behaved attendance at the May Day marches, as is the norm in Hong Kong.

In Macau, however, things were a touch more lively. The May Day protest on the other side of the Pearl River delta turned somewhat ugly with a police officer firing his pistol into the air to try and gain order. This, however, apparently escalated things somewhat and it was quite a while before order was resumed. Thankfully none of the public who were stood on the footbridge directly above the police officer when he fired his weapon were shot, which was rather fortunate.

However some poor chap minding his own business riding his bicycle some three hundred metres away ended up with a bullet entering his neck and finishing up somewhere near his lung. Thankfully he is now in a stable condition, however it would appear that what goes up, most certainly does come down, and in this case with enough force to do you some damage. So if you have ever wondered can anyone be shot by a bullet returning under force of gravity after being fired directly into the air, you now know!

Photo nabbed from Hemlock's Diary

A Good Cause

I am not one for going on about charities, saving the world, and what we should all be doing to make the world a better place - there are enough pop stars and actors (but sadly not enough politicians) doing that without me going on about it here. However in this instance I will make an exception and post once (and only once) on the matter.

Without going into dull long winded narratives on how this all came about I now sponsor three children from Thailand, Cambodia and the Phillipines through Worldvision, as well as contirbuting to Oxfam's ongoing development projects in China. Their websites can be visited via links from my blog, as well as the site for the One Campaign. If you have time, check out the sites and see what they are up to.

If you are able to contribute, even better.

Bless my Cotton Socks I'm in the News...

Well, after nearly 10 years of living discreetly in Hong Kong I have now made it into the local press - not the South China Morning Post (thankfully) but a local Chinese paper,as shown below. Thankfully the picture quality is poor so you cannot actually make out that it is me in the middle. Oh, and I'll buy a beer for the first one who correctly identifies the song that this post's title is lifted from - song title and band please!